Friday, April 15, 2005

I have a lazer gun

almost all recuits had to go for their field camps and learn about attacking enemies with flanking formations and such. these camps go on for days and sometimes actually cause recruits to do stupid things due to boredom. i was such a recruit.

a few days into the camp, we had to prowl around the jungle and wait for enemy fire so we could take cover, strategise and counter attack back. that mission this other recruit and i were really lucky, being chosen to fall back and give cover fire while the rest had to do some flanking nonsense and kill the enemy.

we were given blanks, so we had to conserve our firing. but honestly 1 mag is never enough. pretty soon, we all ran out of blank ammo.

recruit:"sergeant, no more ammo, how?"
sergeant:"use ur mouth lah u bloody kuteh!"
recruit:"yes sergeant, bang bang bang"

well, we mocked the sounds of guns firing and waited for the rest to finish the flanking. i guess the tekong heat+boredom+proning on grass+sergeant not around got to me and i went "ziu ziu ziu!" like the sound of lazers in one of those sci fi shows. my fellow recruit thought that it was rather funny, thus adding fuel to my act of stupidity. with the lack of disciplinary figures around, i became bolder, therefore louder. never did i expect my platoon commander to be behind me.

platoon commander:"what the fuck are u doing?!"
platoon commander:"u were told to make the sounds of gun fire! wat were u doing?!"
me:"erm sir, my gun can shoot lazer."

and that was it. i had the best fucking ever. i wonder what causes recuits to excuse brain.


Agagooga said...

Nothing wrong what.

rax said...

hahah the funniest i have seen so far.. ziuziuziu!

Aristocrat said...

Lol, you got the balls man, actually telling your PC your gun can shoot laser muahahahha. lmao.

Didn't we all agree that it's the hair that gives recruits the privilege to excuse brain?? ;)

Look What Look? said...

Star wars or wad? Hahahaha.

lancerlord said...


I remember first time become 'enemy' during recruit time, I made the sound "tat tat tat tat". Also kena F upside down.

hay weilin said...

hi, i'm quite new to this.I see lots of stuff goin on round here...hope i can join in the fun.
During my BSLC in sispec, i was quite "gan-jeong" during my 1st dry run firing.I was carrying an M2O3 and went "bang bang bang" very fast.My PC came and F me up,"Who told you to switch to auto?"

Rambling Alcoholic said...

Haha... Actually happened to me too. But my buddy and I went "Tiu Tiu Tiu" instead.

Kena screwed righteously man.

the big red one said...

I was once fucked by my PC for not making any sound effects.... Told him i had a silencer on my M16... ala counterstrike.

lun said...

during section movement in my bmt field camp i was providing cover fire with my buddy while the rest of my section flanked the enemy. being the 4th or 5th day of field camp, so we were all totally shacked out. so my universal rounds went something like "bang. (10 secs later) bang." PC walked over, gave me a good smack up the helmet and said, "nabei cheebye, u think u SOF sniper ah?"

The Panopticon said...

my field camp, it rained all 7 days and so my rifle was super muddy and wet, and by the time our section movement came, it was so bad i couldnt even cock the rifle without using my full strength, and as a result i think i hold the dubious record of having 199 IAs on that day.....200 rounds, 1 expanded, the rest went to hell

oh and you should see my sergeant's and PC's face when they saw me trying to cock my rifle, it had "this guy is gonna die later" written all over their faces

kureshii said...

dude, you should've cleaned your weapon when you got the chance, even if it's just for 5 least oil it. you'll regret during post-field camp rifle cleaning.

LOL lun, i did the same. voice cannot make it lah. when my PC (nice guy...PS and sec comm left for course and mono intake respectively, so he took us for section movement instead) asked why the hell i wasn't shooting, i told him my weapon IA lor *begin clear IA simulation*. true enough, once we got our resup of rounds, i was proven right - my weapon was one of those one-cock-one-shot sniper rifles.

MaKan GuRu said...

A condom around the muzzle works wonders on an M16 in the rain.

I thought the new guns does come ith a laser?

"Sir! i am just getting ready for the new SAR21 wit the the laser pointer!"

Blah! said...

Hahahaa! Good post! I'm pretty sure those sergeants and PCs get a kick out of fucking us upside down.

And then they'll joke among themselves when no one else is looking,

"You know ah, my fuck recruit went 'ziuz ziu ziu' today leh! blah blah blah!!"