Saturday, May 07, 2005

Most ridiculous excuse to tekan a recruit

Alright, everyone knows recruits have no pride, recruits are the lowest level of life form in the unit, recruits should be tekan jialut jialut until cannot recognise home so that they can one day be a tough soldier and protect the nation. balls, i say! to all those commanders who take advantage of their ranks and inflict unreasonable punishment to their recruits or men, you should be ashamed of yourself.

In my opinion, if I had genuinely cock up something, or a sabo king screws up, then punishment would be fair. Before I go on and describe the ridiculous excuse for tekan, I welcome all to comment of their own experience and see how lame the excuses can be.
So here goes my tale. It was the usual late night at about 10 pm, our platoon was ordered to standby-bed (which, for us, occurred at a frequency of approximate once every two days; sometimes twice in a day depending on the champion-ness of platoon's sabo kings). Rest assure this standby-bed was not of the cleaniness-inspection purpose, but more of a whacking session.

As usual, the platoon was given 15 minutes to clean the bunks, corridors, toilets and staircases, and be ready in parade 4. after the usual mad rush to meet timing, all recruits then stood attention next to their beds while the Platoon IC of the week went to invite the dignities.

I was one of the first to be inspected. Being a diligent and quite worker, I was very confident that the PC and specialists would never find any faults with me. If I should be doing push-ups later, it would be a platoon level punishment through no fault of me. At least it felt better if I was not the sabo king.

Anyway, true enough, my section mates were falling down like dominoes, vulgarites flying every direction, for their "mistakes" like platic mug placed at the wrong angle with the rest of the platoon, blankets folded the wrong way, towels not straightened. It seemed like I was one of the rare few to escape unscathed. Think again...

While the rest of the dignities trotted to the next bunk, one chose to linger, perhaps deeply unsatisfied to see me still standing instead of being in push-up position (yes, we would hold it there while they inspected the rest of the platoon, thanks for being Section 1!). He walked to me, gave me a crooked grin, and proceeded to do something totally creative that I would never have anticipated... He pulled the rubber stopper off the top of the double-deck bunk bed (I slept on the upper deck), dug his middle finger inside the steel frame, retracted his finger that was covered with rust, and wiped it on my No. 4.

"What's this? Why so dirty? Still waiting for what? KNOCK IT DOWN, CCB!!!!"

I was so amazed with his creativeness that I nearly broke out laughing. Luckily, common sense prevailed and soon I was doing push-ups like the rest of the gang. How's this for feeling lan-lan??? This kinda tekan how to siam? If they want to get you, they will. LL is the word...

18 comments:

rax said...

hahah same thing happened to me before.. all them are of a kind!

MysteryTanLines said...

Don't worry dude, this is a wonderfully just world. For me, I really took pleasure in bumping into my ex-BMT instructors out on the street years later when we are all in the working world. Most of the time, the instructors who were power-abusers could not help but slink apologetically away. All these guys will have their come-uppance one day. Singapore is too small to stupidly make enemies haha.

jk said...

my sergeant went into knock-it-down position next to my sect mate's bed...then used finger to bua2 the ledge underneath...oso kana..

then got spider in corner of room..ceiling there...we kana... "wah i tot this section only 13 men..how come got 14th one..."

UniformGirl said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
UniformGirl said...

Whoops! My breasts accidentally hit the keyboard and deleted my previous post!

Anyway, I was saying that they shouldn't just "tekan" those poor recruits! They should reward those recruits for a job well done!

Personally, I think the army should have sexy female instructors (I volunteer!). More inspirational.

When cute recruits do their jobs well, they get to squeeze a tit. When ugly recruits do their jobs well, they get their tits squeezed by their platoon mates.

Good idea hor? Must get my army bf to submit to Staff Suggestion Scheme.

kureshii said...

Again, what's the army without sai-gang and tekan?

Instructors probably have nothing better to do. In OCS my instructors couldn't be bothered to supervise area-cleaning/tekan sessions, so they would just inspect hte bunks, find fault, get you to clean again, then come up one hour later and do it all over again. since this isn't tekong, book-out timing is extremely variable, and my wing has an annoying habit of indenting lunch for us, so we usually end up spending saturday afternoons in camp =P how's that for unfairness? I don't mind doing a few more pushups, it's good training, but as a trainee i certainly don't appreciate having to book out later.

Mr Miyagi said...

No, dude. Roti Lim Kopi is understating the extent of the tekaning. 46SAR's combat teams were legendary for the amount of saigang and tekan. In those days, lah.

Agagooga said...

They don't need an excuse to punish you. Punishment for no reason is a point of doctrine.

Anthony said...

I don't believe this treatment is unique to Singapore - but it is unique in the sense that Singapore has a conscription scheme without an opt-out for persistent objectors.

Hence, while I appreciate that an army -needs- to train potential soldiers to the point where they are more scared of their leaders than the enemy, this is an approach that leaves its mark and creates potential social and political problems.

I'm not convinced that this is the only way to train soldiers, especially in an all-volunteer situation.

lun said...

since when NSFs were volunteers?

Agagooga said...

Social and political problems? But it's very useful for social engineering!

azzurri81 said...

My professor in class is a Norwegian and he was telling me once of his NS experience in his country where he said the instructors were regulars and unfortunately they weren't really very bright. So he had this sgt facing him and he gave my prof the order to turn left and my prof did but since left is the guy's right, the sgt thought he was being insurbordinate and punished him. And the stupid thing was he kept doing it not realising that left and right was different for my prof. It was only after my prof pointed it out and the sgt thought about it for a while and had to turn around to see what my prof meant that he stopped the tekan. Haha... I also had a sgt like that in my platoon, perpetually with orientation problem. And he even scolds us when we don't point it out to him that the command is wrong.

Anthony said...

Bah. Meant to write all-conscript

MaKan GuRu said...

During my BMT, my SGT actually came in one day for bunk inspection with a small step ladder. All of us were like WTF!? He then quickly proceeded to place the ladder under the fan, climb up and with his white glove (yes the fucker actually wore a white glove) proceeded to rund his hand on the upper portion of the fan blade. Result = everyone knocked it down 20.

Another time, after we got really good at cleaning rifles, I have one platoon mate who got done damn fast. So he went over to my SGT for final inspection. My SGT look at him and asked him if he was very sure everything was spotless. My platoon mate nooded in agreement. My SGT then proceeded to strip the rifle down, but then he continued to strip the butt of the rifle down too. He then took out the recoil spring, which most of us had not dared to take out, and run his finger inside the recoil spring tube. "See still dirty what!" was his response. We all ended up spending an additional 10 mins cleaning and reoiling ALL our recoil springs.

ivan said...

it's the same in cyprus? germany (but they have an option for civil service)?

Agagooga said...

I believe it's called conscientious objection

Nico said...

It was the 2nd day after BMT POP block leave, so the RSM decides to pull off a standby bed first thing in the morning at 9am! Wonderful.

Now our CSM was a number one asshole, so the moment our 3SGTs told us about it, we put our manpower together and pressure forward!

The result?
23 Pvts could not spot dust anywhere, no matter how hard we looked.

One dude exclaimed:
"Eh pro la! Confirm best area cleaning bunk."

And then came the dreaded RSM & OC & CSM & 3SGT walk-by...

CSM action, so he proceeded to enter the room to invite RSM in.

CSM, "Sergeant Major, plea.."
RSM interrupts, "C.S.M. What's that on your butt? Is that a kiwi smear?
And you are supposed to be a role model for all these soldiers here. As a leader you have to take responsibility for your actions.
Take 6 extra, and knock it down 50. Show them your kiwi tattoo. BUTT UP!"

And though we were punished like no tomorrow since we were guffawing like idiots, that scene will forever be imprinted our memory...

Come reservist, we called him Kiwi.

Anonymous said...

we should tekan girls because they dont have to serve,hence will never promote beyond a chao recruit.especially those in 'sexy' hotpants,asking to be tekan.i want them carry medicine ball n run 1km under 10min or keep running.i want them 3mins change to victorian dress or else change back to skank attire n back again if they keep failing to meet the timing.