For stay-in personals, the most you can get from the hours spent in bunk is sleeping – especially during office hours.
Well, it’s not that I like to encourage everyone to chao geng, but sometimes it’s just sad that in NS they make sleeping like crime like that. I remember in the first few months of BMT most of us were so tired that we slept a lot at home OVER THE WEEKEND when we book out – sigh, sleeping our precious book-out time away.
Read on for some tips on getting the sleep that army has short-changed you.
For stay-in personals, the most you can get from the hours spent in bunk is sleeping – especially during office hours. Well, of course there are more fun things to do during office hours than sleeping: reading (from newspaper to comics to FHM), talking cock, playing Gameboy, Monopoly, Mahjong (cards lah) even the super brainless game of 飞机棋 (the game where you control 4 aeroplanes and must throw a ‘6’ to leave “base”) (yes, we have done ALL of these before). But the risk of getting caught is too high - it just take one sabo-king to laugh too loud in the midst of the fun and that’s it – our bunk is just one level above the offices, and it only takes CSM a minute or so to do a spot check and we can kiss our weekend goodbye.
So, sleeping, aka “individual body maintenance” in the army, is the lowest risk option – if you sleep in a “tactical” position and provided you didn’t snore too loudly, you can usually escape enemy (everyone higher rank than you) detection.
Rule number 1: Never ever sleep ON the bed during office hours, not even lie down to take a rest. Doing that is like wearing the “arctic avenger” suit (the all-white terrorist suit in CS, remember?) and fighting in the Singapore jungle. Confirm gana.
There is once when we are slacking in bunk during office hours. One of us is sleeping on the bed, and the rest of us are doing equally zuo-bo-lan things like reading comics/newspapers. Our 2IC come in suddenly, and he straightaway asks that poor guy who is sleeping on the bed to go and sign.
Rule number 2: The space between the beds is YOUR bed during office hours. It’s damn funny that suddenly someone will be super garang and take out broom and dustpan when there is no stand-by-bed coming. He will giggle and then sweep the area between his bed and his buddy’s and make sure that it’s super clean, before resting his body on the ground.
My form teacher who was in his 50s said that during his time in OCS, the rules about maintaining a super neat bed was so strict that they all just choose to sleep on the floor every night. He said that now he regretted that because he thinks that sleeping on the cold concrete floor is really damaging for the bones (somehow it’s the problem of concrete sucking the heat of the body, from a traditional Chinese medical point of view). So, to protect your body against that (after all, you can downgrade all you want in army, but better be healthy after you ORD), I usually put a ground sheet on the floor (not SAF one: so troublesome to fold back nicely in case got inspection… just some E-mart one.
Some people go for comfort: they just take down the pillow from their bed and put it on the floor… well, a slightly more alert CSM will spotted that your bed doesn’t have a pillow and that’s really hong-gan. (Visual aid: if you play Commandos II or Metal Gear Solid, imagine CSM scanning around, see your bed without pillow, and a question mark rises above his head, and the next moment you game over).
So, bear with discomfort: just sleep on ur civi-bag (stuff some clothes), or have those inflatable pillow (really good to invest in one). Well, if you are really desperate, sleep on your pile of dirty clothes accumulated over the week also can =p.
Rule Number 3: Things to watch out for:
Some people like to stretch their legs and their boots became visible (no longer shielded from the bed). That’s really sabo-king lah. When your sergeant/CSM walk by your bunk, it’s damn obvious if someone’s leg is sticking out on the floor.
Also, (as always), switch off your handphone. If your sergeant call you and you pick up (woken up from sleep), you will definitely sound like you just woke up, and usually when you are shagged you can’t think of a good excuse to cover up. That’s it. If you don’t pick up the phone, the ringing sound will give yourself away. (Even the vibration mode is damn obvious).
Oh yah, for the ultimate tactical move: switch off the fans when you sleep – yeah it’s hot and stuffy, but sometimes some CSM will just cao beh about people not switching the fans off when they leave the bunk. (Well, honestly I doubt you can save much money from switching off the fans when they themselves have air-conditioned offices).
Well, it’s not that I like to encourage everyone to chao geng, but sometimes it’s just sad that in NS they make sleeping like crime like that. I remember in the first few months of BMT most of us were so tired that we slept a lot at home OVER THE WEEKEND when we book out – sigh, sleeping our precious book-out time away. Given that most of us don’t have the luxury of staying out, the only thing we could do is to do as much thing as possible in camp (it’s really funny how, on Saturday morning before book-out (okie, now all 5-day week) people will start bathing, shitting and doing all sorts of things so that they don’t have to do that AT HOME to conserve whatever book-out time we have. Sigh.. those were the days.