Tuesday, August 09, 2005

Borders of Lunacy

This was something interesting I forgot to post about during my last Padang guard duty. I was doing duty with this malay guy and as we were heading back to City Hall at night, a lady approached him and started talking to him as if she knew him. Since the topics involved the PAP, the Lee family and then Allah, I thought she was some sort of Christian preacher and thus kept my distance whilst trying to get him to move away. However, the lady was persistent and as we headed back, she followed.

Then, she started asking me questions like my name and stuff. I tried increasing my pace but she trailed us all the way to the entrance of City Hall. There, she probably revealed her true motive - asking if we would be around on National Day itself. Figuring she wanted to smuggle her way in or something during NDP itself, I told her I would be doing guard duty back in camp (which was true at that point of time) and left it at that thinking that would be the end of it. Then, she started asking if it would be the last time she was going to see us. Having told her it probably would, she asked me for my number and when I refused to give it to her, she was like "do you miss me already".

Alright, it was getting freaky, I had deduced she was either a christian preacher or someone who just wanted to smuggle in on National Day itself. What she said bordered on lunacy and I wasn't going to hang around much. Despite my "reputation" as an Auntie Killer, this was like too much to stomach. Damn pretty pathetic ain't it, no pretty gal comes up to me asking for my number and instead I get a zany lady coming up.

My weekend got burnt for the 2nd week in a row, due to some people who I don't wish to elaborate on, if not it might antagonize me even more. All I can say was that it pissed me off so much that I did something you could classify as insubordination.

There are a few interesting guys in my platoon I would like to share about. Of course, as many others, we have christen them with unique names.

Mr. Chou Chou (a.k.a Mr. Smelly)

For starters, he does resemble a pig (alright I'm being a little mean here but his behaviour certainly reminds me of one). He was thus dubbed chou chou by one of my platoon-mates for a real simple reason. Guess how he distinguishes his clothings from the rest on the rack outside? (I do so by my hanger). No, Mr. Chou Chou does so with the unconventional method of sniffing his clothes out. Yep, you heard it right, he sniffs through all the clothes to identify his distinct body odour.

Something hilarious about him that isn't exactly all that smelly, we were doing guard duty and he happened to be on sentry duty. Myself and 2 other friends were on desk duty. The gate was closed and a tonner happened to approach so Mr. Chou Chou was heard over the TRS ...

"Gate ... Gate ... Gate"

Hahaha I seriously had no idea why he was saying that as if a bomb truck was approaching but it certainly had us in stitches. Another time and the same thing happened. Finally, a 3rd time and we heard an encoded message which we deciphered and deduced it should have been "Gate ... Gate ... Gate"

However, all we heard was actually:

"zzzz ... zzzz ... zzzz" (muffled reception)

Mr. Guai Guai (a.k.a Mr. Think-Out-Of-The-Box a.k.a Mr. Lazy)

Well, let me declare that he is nowhere lazy, but simply cos' his initials read L Z Y so one of my friends decided to dub him that. He is the Pte Lee I've mentioned before, and the infamous one who volunteered for the stripsearch.

Haha, the thing is that sometimes he takes double time to think and he himself said that he could think out of the box. One of the examples he quoted us? That if we took one piece from the mastermind box, he could determine what colour it was, of which he picked 4 colours and said it was one of the four. Really out of the box thinking.

Original Post | Linus' Daily Antics

No comments: