Kelapa

This one's as told to me by a friend, but I do not have reason to doubt the veracity.

2LT MC was a commander of one of the Navy's mini patrol boats. As you well know, it's hard for anyone to really catch you slacking off when you are supposed to be patrolling, since you have the liberty and authority to stay put in a certain spot to check on the goings-on. Even then, MC and his merry men grew bored of taking off their coveralls in the middle of the sea to get themselves an even tan, and itched to explore the islands they cruised past almost everyday.

On a particularly slow day, MC decided to berth his vessel alongside the jetty at St. John's Island, and allowed his men 15 minutes to go pee and roam around. So off his men went, and they came back less than 10 minutes with a certain hunger in their eyes..

"Ser, you want to drink coconut ornot?"

No reason why not right? So his tells them to go get some, but not too many.

"Ser, you wan mor oso don have ahh.. Tink onli got like 5..."

The men go into the patrol boat, rummage through something, and come out with a couple of sandbags. Still okay right?

The men saunter of somewhere, and MC decides to go take a leak in the heads (washroom). Whilst climbing up the jetty ladder, he heard some chopping noises in the distance.. Now, just what the fuck are they up to this time, he thinks... In no time, he hears a fairly loud creak, followed by a soft rustle, and a dull thud...

They chopped down the whole tree.