Friday, November 10, 2006

Talc the map now!

In a thread about slavery spelling/pronunciation, someone wondered what "telt" / "talc" (the clear plastic sheeting you cover maps and other things with) really was.

I pondered over this for a while, and then suddenly remembered that I'd hit upon the right answer years before in a brainwave - it's actually "tarp", short for "tarpaulin". Many are resistant to this idea, since they think tarpaulin must be opaque and thick, but I've dug up many graphic illustrations of clear plastic tarp:

DEKE - Cornell

Thoughts on Restoring a Morgan
Introduction to Media Blasting

Healthy Lawns—Site preparation: Soil solarization

57 Ways - 15. Solarize Soil

WAN in Lab: Facilities: Pictures and Schematics - gallery: \WIL\2004-12-09 Adjustable Shelves + Corning Fiber Spools + Plastic Tarp

Technorati tags:, ,

Sunday, July 09, 2006

stories about my RQ

My RQ was one of the slightly more annoying people I knew during my NS. Here's a encounter I had with her just before my ORD.

I was going to Alexandra Hospital for an appointment. She told me that if I finish before 5.30pm I would have to come back to camp. I had absolutely no intention of going back to camp as I was sweaty and so was my uniform.

I finished my appointment around 4 o'clock. So after that I just walked around the hospital for awhile. Then I went to the McDonalds in Queensway to get a drink. by the time I finished, it was 5 o'clock. So I called her office phone and told her that I've finished already. What she told me next was totally outrageous. She said since the time is 5pm, she'll let me go half an hour early. But tomorrow I have to make it up by staying in camp half an hour later.

That was really unfair. She should have told me this before I left not after. So on my way back home, I sent a message to my S4 telling him what happened. About 15 minute later, the RQ sent me a message saying 'you better call me now'.

So I called her and she started yapping at me, clearly annoyed that she had lost face. So she asked me 'do you think what I did is right, tell me now.' Being the blunt person that I am, I told her straight to her face: NO.

So the next morning during our usual morning briefing, I was a real hot topic with the RQ asking me all sorts of irrelevant questions about the previous day. Basically, she was trying to embarass me. Knowing the cynical person that she is, I just took it in my stride.

But I knew she took it personally though. She told all the other storemen not to sign my clearance until the very last day.

Sunday, May 07, 2006

ORD For Dummies: Part 2

Part 2 of a continuing series.
One month has passed since your 5-month ORD plan started, eh? Did all the previously-mentioned tips? Here's what to do next:

a) Continue saving up! You think one month enough, meh?

b) Check up on the understudy. Manpower might have forgotten ;-)
Or, if he's already here, start training him up! More work for you, yes, but the faster he learns the faster you can start doing other stuff. As far as possible don't hand-hold him through - nobody took over their appointment by handholding. Let him make mistakes and learn from them, under your guidance. He'll thank you for it.

c) Got approval for punishment-clearing plan? Good. Try not to accumulate any more. Unless you really don't give a damn.

d) Got approval for your leave forecast? Good. Need more time? No problem - there's still 4 months.

e) Started clearing your work? Good. Put that to-do list to good use! And try not to add any more items under the already-existing ones. Try to push them to the understudy, whether he exists or not. Nobody likes to take over a work in progress, so let them be the ones to initiate it.

Not much at this point in time, try to get the above done because next month you're going to be working your ass off.

Technorati tags:, ,

Monday, April 24, 2006


With under 6 months left till what every national serviceman looks forward to - their ORD date, I would have thought I have so far gone through it without much of upsetting the rules and in particular haven't been knocked down. So of course to my amazement, last week I got knocked down my the one everybody absolutely LOVES at the moment - my CSM.

What for? Cos' a small bit of my orange cloth was sticking out of my cupboard during stand by area. In fairness, he did recover me when I was 2/3 way through the 30. But then again ... ! The army never ceases to amaze me.

Technorati tags:, ,

Thursday, March 30, 2006

ORD for Dummies

Now that I'm out in society, I realise I was really ill-prepared for civilian life. I was so busy clearing work during my leave period and never realised how much preparation it required to actually transit to civilian life. So, for future batches of NSFs, here's a simplified guide to ORDing, in peace, with a clear conscience and with sufficient funding to last you until you get a job.

Of course, the following advice is for those holding important appointments, such as store i/cs, clerks, officers and the like. Men, drivers etc will probably have a much easier time.

also note that the following points may vary depending on new directives and also on unit SOP. You mileage may vary, please adjust accordingly.

Step 1: 5 months before you ORD
Contrary to popular belief, pre-ORD preparation does not begin 3 months before - it begins up to 5 months before D-day. First things you must do:

a) Start saving up
b) Request for an understudy
c) Plan to clear any outstanding punishments you may have
d) Start planning your off and leave days
e) Begin making plans for handing over (see item b)

More elaboration to follow.

a) Save up. Why so early? Because you will probably need something to the tune of $500 to keep you going for at least a month after you ORD. Of course, if your post-ORD life is going to consist of only sleeping, eating and more sleeping (assuming all for free), then adjust your requirement accordingly. Otherwise, this is a rough estimate.

If you don't think you need $500 to survive, then plan your own requirement. Just keep in mind that many things provided by the SAF are no longer free, such as medical care, food, and possibly lodging as well.

b) See item e.

c) Plan to clear outstanding punishments. Because there might be CSMs evil enough to stop you clearing leave just to clear extras. And also because you need a good COS, and chioning your extras is only going to hurt in the short term. Besides, this shouldn't be too hard, if you haven't been slacking around. If you just happen to have a bastard PS/CSM, then too bad. Shit happens, try to live with it.

Having a clear punishment record will also make it easier for all the other things you need to do, such as applying leave.

d) Start planning your off and leave. More specifically, start finding out when you absolutely cannot apply off and leave. Can't give you any more details than this, use your own discretion. But planning important days in advance will cause less disruption to your near-ORD life, give your commanders plenty of warning (so they don't du lan you), and basically make your life more organised. But leave enough days for you to clear adhoc.

e) Begin making plans for handing over. Because things don't happen overnight in the SAF. Or maybe even within the next month or so.

First thing you would want to do is ask for The Understudy (TM). If he arrives, he will be an extra set of limbs you can utilise for your own needs, until he is capable of doing your job. Ask your commander about this, or if he is the slack type, just ask the reinforcement i/c in MP branch directly (but let your boss know!). Check every week, or every other week, to see if they've acknowledged your info. And never stop asking about your understudy - MP branch gets bombarded with lots of info on a daily basis, it wouldn't hurt to give them a personal reminder service.

Next, draft out a list of your responsibilities. Decide how you are going to hand them over to the understudy. No need for too much detail, just a rough order in which to hand over will do. Specifics can wait another month or two.

Also draft out a list of outstanding tasks that need doing. Routine tasks need not be included, just one-shot, adhoc items requested by people you have met along the way. Start working on the big items, and try to clear the smaller items.

Stay tuned for Part 2, in which I will detail the things that need to be done 4 months before you ORD. Stay well and out of trouble!

Technorati tags:, ,

Tuesday, March 28, 2006

When I was just a chao recruit,
I asked my sergeant, what will I be?
Will I be PC? Will I be 3SG?
Here's what he said to me.

Balls to you, recruit,
This is not your father's army,
Your future's not yours to see,
Sign extra for me.
I now know how the song ends.

Balls to you, CPL,
This is not your father's army,
Not happy don't ORD,
Wait inside DB.

That's what I tell my drivers anyway, and on hindsight it may seem cruel, but my conscience is clear because we all do what we have to. In those 2 years much is expected of us and we do our best to deliver, and the consequences of our actions are what changes us from boys to men, age irregardless.

The things I did during my 2 years don't matter to me anymore - they have been neatly filed and stored away somewhere (I hope), and I carry with me not the burden of responsibility, but the lessons I learned as an OCT and as a transport 2LT.

We all enter NS as recruits, forming judgments and opinions with what little we know, and months later we look back and laugh at ourselves, for knowing so little then. And we don't realise that we still know very little even now, until months have passed and we are laughing at ourselves once again.

And so I am laughing at myself now, for singing the last paragraph of that song out loud to my drivers while talking to them at the smoking point (at a point in time when discipline was extraordinarily poor). Laughing not because I find it lame or unnecessary, but because I realise my drivers have probably known it a long time ago, and had I taken action sooner, they would be the ones singing that song to me, instead of vice-versa

It's only been 2 weeks since my 11B "has to used in conjunction with my NRIC", so realisations like these are still coming to me everyday. For instance, just yesterday, when talking to a friend on the phone, I realised that half the things I said in NS didn't actually need saying, because as a transport PC my actions stand in for words, and real words are necessary only because they are the only official legislation recognised by the SAF, and for everything else that isn't covered by military law, actions are more than enough. All I had to do to enforce discipline was make latecomers stand under the sun for a half-hour after first parade, no lectures, talks or scoldings needed.

Funnily enough, 6 months ago I was begging to ORD, but here I am, wishing I could go back and fix those mistakes (or at least help my understudy avoid them). And then I realise with wry irony that had I fixed those mistakes, I wouldn't be thinking these thoughts and making these realisations now.

So I let my understudy continue making mistakes, because these mistakes are the lessons he will bring with him when he ORDs. It's the least I could do for him. And I hope he will let the understudy after him continue making mistakes as well. Because what more can an NSF wish for, than to ORD in peace, with his NRIC, and with 2 years' worth of mistakes? The resulting admin lapse? Don't worry, the SAF can take it.

You ever have the experience of dreaming about the perfect solution to a problem that resolved itself/blew off months ago? I still have these every single day. A few days ago I remembered a driver leaving his vehicle during a detail because "it got boring, and he just wanted to wander off for a while", and the 2WO calling me up to complain, and me telling the driver off, and me giving him 3 extras. And I was pondering what would have been different if after the phone call I had simply gone down to the parade square, carried out the detail on behalf of the driver, and on the driver's return make him polish my boots, ta bao my lunch, and put him on 5sec NTM upon my activation for errands - for the rest of the week, effectively depriving him of any personal time he may wish for, smoke breaks included.

Ideally it would bring the message of customer satisfaction across to the 2WO, make it clear to the drivers that any lapse of responsibility on their part would be borne by me (but paid back 5 times by them) and hopefully prevent such future incidents, but I would never know the outcome because back then I was too busy to think of this and try it out. Perhaps it might never work, but it reminds me once again that to every problem there is more than one solution, and the only way to avoid settling down into a mentally-degerating thinking pattern is to keep an open mind.

The biggest lesson NS has taught me is that we all choose the paths we take. No one is ever forced into doing something. There is always more than one choice. All we have to do is to find out, as completely as possible, the effects and consequences of each possible choice (most of these are common knowledge/sense), before committing to a decision. Knowing this, we have no excuse for denying responsibility for our actions. Anyone who doesn't understand this even after he ORDs has just wasted his 2 years. So don't complain about going to DB if you knew that what you were about to do would land you in there. Side-note: If you don't know what can land you in DB, check with your PC/supervisor or manpower clerk. Or if you have an MP (mil police) friend, all the better.

To all those still serving and/or soon-to-serve, all the best to you and your NS experience.

Signing off,


Technorati tags:, ,

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

Behind the chevroned number 4

Friends who know me say that I do not have what it takes to be an instructor as I'm too soft-hearted and kind to do anything horrible to recruits.

Well here's a chance for you folks to see how I am like in camp! Well not exactly see but you can hear, right from the horses mouth how I behave in camp. Bwahahaha. And what better way then to hear from the recruits themselves!

Yeah. The recruits were told to type last weekend, half a page of appraisal for their individual platoon commanders. Taa-daa! The end of course instructor appraisals are out and hear what the maggots in camp say about me...


"One of the few instructors who bother to do PT with us, kinds of motivates us to do better when commanders train beside us."

"Knows a lot of extra stuff that is not taught in BMT anymore but still goes through the extra mile to impart his knowledge."

"Makes lame jokes but at least it loosens up the tense training atmosphere."

"Understand the pains of a recruit and guides us accordingly."


"May look like another JC kid on the block but he is no pushover, of all the sergeants I fear him the most."

"Lacks adequate communication with us. Does not really care for our welfare."

"Has temperamental mood swing, can be joking with you one moment and screaming at you in another."

"His tall lanky frame is the harbringer of the most hineous of punishments."


"Likes to say 'You maggots are climbling on my head. And even worse! You guys are shitting on it! Like to take my kindness as my weakness right?' Normally after this we would face the floor."

"Looking at him during training makes you think he is an ass or someone very unreasonable and a lot of hatred is involved."

"We have so much to do and we only fall in late for 1 min and he knock us down... Bloody hell."

"His flaunt of blatantly blunt degratory and insultory phrases during his frequent scolding sessions, without the use of profanities and vulgarities shows he has a good command of the language. But some of us being non-jc students or hokkien soldiers would not understand what he says."



"Has a good sense of dressing especially in his taste of shoes. But his watch is rather gay looking and is not his type. He should change to those metal strapped watches."

"His more than frequent use of colourful and complex English phrases would put any GP tutors to shame."

"Plays too much basketball but is very good at shooting especially from the 3-pt range."

"This supposedly harmless, buck-tooth and mild-mannered instructor has a monster lurking behind his cute smile."

The things recruits say. Hahaha. You can tell some of them are more proficient than I am in terms of language. And its not suprising. This bunch of JC punk asses are quite astute I must say. I've recruits who score 7 distinctions for A levels just this year. WTH....

But I just laugh it all off. As I told them on the first day of their enlistment, "I'm not here to please you or to make your stay here enjoyable." And why should I care when I'll ORD in 3 months??? Bwahaha!!! *Evil laugh* Of course there are much more things they mentioned about me but I just chose some of the more interesting ones.

Anyone got any funny things your man said about you or any funny characteristics or habits of past superiors to share?
Technorati tags:, ,

Wednesday, March 08, 2006

time management

One thing that I learnt when I went to Tekong for BMT was that time passes by very slowly. I think its probably the fact that while the rest of Singapore is sleeping soundly, we all have to wake up a 5am. Of course there were times, we were allowed to wake up half an hour later. Even rarer was letting us wake up at 6am.

I remember there was this one time when we were getting our injections from the medical centre. We had woken up at 5am, did our 5BX, had breakfast then had a stand by area. So while my platoon was waiting its turn to get injected, I looked at my watch and the time was only 9am! You'd think it'll be nearer to 10 o'clock or something.

Another incident was towards the end of my BMT. After sending our weapons back to the armskote, the time was early 7 o'clock. And the best thing was lights off was at 10.30pm. This meant that I had 3 1/2 hours to do what wanted. Having so much free time was such a privilege. It also meant I had no idea what to do with so much time. After taking a shower, I just lazed around finding things to do.

One negative aspect of having very little time is the day I came back from outfield. After doing all the usual stuff and getting fucked by out seargent for our poor movement that day, the time was 10.20 pm. Lights off was at 10.30 pm. And the following day we had to wake up at 5am. You can probably imagine the rush to get cleaned up. And its not easy to get dried camo off your face.

Friday, February 17, 2006

name reversal

hello fellow soldiers, this is my first post on this website. hope you will enjoy this funny story my friend related to me recently

he had reported sick one day. so when his number flashed on the electronic board, he went in and found 2 MO's talking to each other. The first MO was telling the other how he knew this guy in BMT. His name on his No. 4 uniform read B.Y. CHEE. But what was written on his jockey cap was CHEE B.Y.

Saturday, February 04, 2006

stories from my camp

i just want to share 2 funny stories from my camp. here goes:

1) I was doing saturday guard-duty one day. And as usual on weekends, there was a problem with the guards (I don't remember what the problem was). I don't know what's it like in other camps, but when the new guard duty schedule comes out in my camp everyone will rush to change with each other.

anyway, my guard commander (a 2SG) for that day had a reputation in camp. he also had a superior feeling about himself. more on that later. and since there was a problem with the guards, I ended up doing the 1st shift (8am - 10am) and the 3rd shift (12pm - 2pm). Of course, i took it all in my stride. after all it was a saturday.

Nothing much happened until the next morning when the sunday guards started coming in. My colleague was one of the sunday guards. He was the type of person who thought that everyone is his friend. So he went up to the saturday guard commander and started talking to him. And then he asked him if he sent the guards prowling the night before. This made the guard commander unhappy and he made ALL the guards do a turn-out. imagine doing a turn-out at 8am on a sunday morning. At the same time, the sunday DO came in (a 1WO). He saw what was going on and told the 2SG to let the saturday guards fall out. The 2SG wasn't interested and told the 1WO "wait sir, let me turn them out first." cool as a cucumber I tell you.

2) the second story happened in early 2004. my whole company had to sign a form declaring that we had no live ammo in our possession. This was done in light of a few people being charged for having the above mentioned in their possesion. On the form we had to say what our position was in the company (OC, technician, etc). When i was collecting all the forms back, I noticed what one regular wrote on that column. Although he's a technician, he wrote area-cleaning IC. It was absolutely hilarious.

Monday, January 23, 2006

Army memories

Not us. Hawk Company (and our 'sister' company, Gryphon) represented the socio-economic diversity of Singaporeans. We had a university graduate. We had primary school leavers. We had Chinese, Malays, Indians and one Eurasian. You name it, we probably had it. We even had someone who lived on Pulau Bukom. It said so on his ID card.


Technorati tags: , ,

Sunday, January 22, 2006

a plea; from a medic

with regards to medicals
Dear NS men, I'm a medic in one of the Divisions. I am the medical board I/C. I have been crucified and shot down countless times because I am not working fast enough.

To tell you all the truth, I have been working tirelessly to process your medical reviews so that you can be sent for downgrading as soon as possible. But because medical boards are only conducted at 1400 hrs in the afternoon once/twice a month because Chairmen of medical boards are busy Senior Medical officers. and the afternoon has only 2.5 hours; the board will end at about 1645. Do bear in mind that the Division has average 17,000 personnel, and designated medical board medical centres have other medical centres coming to it for board on the same day.

All in all, we board about 100 people a month. But my medical centre alone see up to 100 medical reviews a month. so every month is a mad rush for me process all the medical reviews, wait for the chairman to come; and then another mad rush so process all the downgrade results. It definitely does not help when the software your working with is still in its teething pains and have ALOT of hiccups. So waiting time for a downgrade to be processed is 2-3 months.

I do understand that some of you reallly suffer from bad injuries and illnesses and it affects your health and I am workin as fast as possible. I am the only one in the medical centre who knows how to do downgrades because our estab does not allow more manpower. I as a NSF will fulfil my duties to best of my abilities. All of you have sacrificed for the country in one way or another. This is the only way the country can repay you, I represent the country's gratitude and will do my best.

I pray that this short write up will allow you to understand the mechanisms of the medical board procedure and please don't comprain so much. I, a NSF is on the other end of your comprain letter suffering

P.S. this note does NOT apply to chao keng-ers.

Technorati tags:, ,

Tuesday, January 17, 2006


In today's news: Finally, a decision and explanation on Melvin Tan's case.
So, it seems he took advantage of a very nifty loophole that existed in the system (not anymore, though), eh? Well, I'm fine with that. You can't help people exploiting loopholes. My faith in MINDEF has been partially restored; the grudge was never with Melvin in the first place. And it's good to see them starting to get serious about draft dodgers.

I was considering, maybe give people an option to opt out of citizenship instead of forcing them to serve? I.e. become a citizen of another nation by teh time you're 12, or be forced to serve NS. I think 12 years is a sufficiently long time for people to stay and consider. Or perhaps you want to measure by length of stay in Singapore, more than 10 years and people ought to serve? Less enlistees, yes, but also less complaints about being forced to serve without alternative.

And I don't understand the MPs' talk about Einstein and Stephne Hawking never becoming a Singapore citizen if they were forced to serve. Hey, we're an island nation, and this being reality we can't have the best of both worlds. Choose between having a well-defended nation, or highly talented nation, or a compromise between the 2.

Any option other than serving NS is the first step toward transparent elitism, and no matter how much people like the idea of seeing some actual talent in Singapore at the expense of equality, that is not something I want to see while I'm alive. Einstein and Stephen can serve and stay, or they can f*** off. I'm perfectly fine watching them contribute to science as a citizen of another nation.

Besides, I don't think it would be too much trouble for MINDEF to create new NSF appointments that allow top minds to interact with DSTA engineers on new experimental technology and whatnot, right? Ever considered this way of serving the nation? As long as you put them in military uniform and in a position that complements their abilities for the next 2 years, this NSF is happy enough.

To let on a small secret (that hopefully won't get me charged), SAF actually enlists NSFs in trial networking experiments. That's right, they're not all regulars. Not everybody has to chiong, not everybody has to clean rifles, but everybody has to serve the nation if he is deemed fit to. Anyone here disagrees?

Technorati tags:, ,